today, i waited all day for a reply to a text. in the morning i tried to go to the gym, so i got the train to Liverpool Street, and the Fitness First there was closed, so i got back on the central line to Oxford Circus to use the one on Kingly Street that is open 24 hours; also closed. trudged back home, went out twice to wander around London just to take my mind off this girl, which didn't work. a lady in a black cab hit me with the door on Oxford Street because she swung it open without looking. i turned round and said 'what the fuck, lady?' but she apologised so i'm not even mad.
oh, i also feel like my friends are deliberately excluding me from things lately and i'm not speaking to anybody in my family. it's concerning how precarious my mood is: i think suicide has always been inevitable for me on some level.
/emo
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